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Pussy so good I say my own name during sex!

Okay so lets be real about it for a second. I am a survivor of domestic human trafficking. I dont like to talk about it much. They say that past a certain point revisiting your trauma only cements it. I lived in fight or flight for a year after I literally escaped with nothing but the cloths on my bac I lost literally everything, my credit, my car, my home, my family, my friends... everything not once not twice not even 3 times but 4 times over the past 2 years. For most of the past year I was homeless and living out of hotels. It was miserable and a constant state of fight or flight. I have never been more alone in anything in my entire life than I have been over the past 2 years. A few months ago I was FINALLY able to get into a home thanks to a fan who literally bought a house just to rent it to me cuz my credit and rental history was nothing short of destroyed due to the trafficking. I'm still trying to process the whole thing. They say that you dont process trauma when youre in fight or flight so now ,even though it's more than a year later, I am flooded with so many overwhelming emotions and symptoms of PTSD. Camming got me through the past couple years and I dont even  to think about what could have happened to me if it wasnt for several really special guys I met online along the way. I'm going through a healing process and I need all the support and kindness that you have to offer me. For those of you who dont really know much about PTSD Women with PTSD are more likely to feel depressed and anxious, as well as have trouble feeling or dealing with their emotions.
1. Intrusive Thoughts
Intrusive thoughts are perhaps the best-known symptom of PTSD. What do intrusive thoughts look like? A person going about their day is suddenly confronted by unwelcome, distressing memories of what happened to them. This may happen in a related setting – for example, a person who has gone through a car accident may begin to panic in a vehicle – or out of the blue.
2. Nightmares
Trauma survivors regularly deal with nightmares. Research from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (the VA) has indicated that 71% to 96% of those with PTSD may have nightmares. Those with co-occurring mental illnesses are also at higher risk for vivid, disturbing dreams.
3. Avoiding Reminders of the Event
PTSD changes the way a person lives their life. One of the major effects of trauma is avoidance. For example, someone who nearly drowned will probably avoid swimming again. However, they might even avoid taking baths or going to the beach because it reminds them too much of what happened. These avoidant behaviors can be debilitating, and those who are dealing with them are encouraged to seek professional trauma treatment.
4. Memory Loss
Traumatic events impact the brain’s functioning. While many people assume that this is due to a physical brain injury, it’s frequently a case of the body attempting to cope with what has happened. The hippocampus, amygdala and prefrontal cortex are strongly associated with stress and memory. When something traumatic happens, memory loss occurs as a natural defense mechanism. Without proper treatment, these memories may resurface at any time, resulting in significant distress.
5. Negative Thoughts About Self and the World
People who have been through trauma see the world differently. They may feel hopeless and live with a “foreshortened future” – an inability to visualize future milestones or old age. It’s also common for them to see themselves in a bad light. One of the  symptoms of PTSD is a negative perception of the self and the world at large. Client-centered therapy seeks to build a person’s self-esteem after a traumatic incident, reassuring them that they are worthy of success and healing.
6. Self-Isolation; Feeling Distant
After something terrible happens, it’s difficult to connect with others. People with PTSD may have a hard time being around people for a few different reasons. These include potential triggers, as well as an inability to relate to their friends. If you have been through a traumatic event and feel like your loved ones just don’t understand, we encourage you to speak with a professional therapist who specializes in trauma treatment.
7. Anger and Irritability
PTSD creates a state of hyperarousal. This means that the brain is kicked into a state of “fight or flight” at the slightest urging. Hyperarousal results in strong emotions like anger, as well as general irritability on a day-to-day basis. Those who have been traumatized may lash out at others, even if they don’t fully understand why.
8. Reduced Interest in Favorite Activities
Negative life events make it difficult to enjoy once-loved activities. The mood changes, sleeplessness and avoidance associated with PTSD mean that a person might feel unmotivated and uninterested in their work and hobbies.
9. Hypervigilance
After a traumatic event, the body enters a state of hypervigilance. This increased alertness ensures that a person is always prepared for any other threats. However, this state of extreme awareness is exhausting and upsetting for trauma sufferers, making it among the most upsetting of the  symptoms of PTSD.
. Difficulty Concentrating
Hyperarousal and anxiety also take away one’s ability to concentrate. Individuals who have undergone a traumatic event struggle to readjust at work, home and school because their minds are often elsewhere.
. Insomnia
Insomnia is another typical symptom of PTSD. To go to bed, a person has to let their guard down, which is especially difficult for hypervigilant trauma sufferers. Additionally, the nightmares they may face at bedtime can make sleep an unattractive proposition. Many people who have experienced trauma struggle to sleep, and they may turn to alcohol or drugs in order to calm their minds. However, this approach can result in issues with substance use disorder.
. Vivid Flashbacks
Flashbacks are different from intrusive thoughts. Those who have flashbacks may feel as though the traumatic event is happening all over again. Memories can become so vivid that they seem to be happening in the current moment. This can cause people to panic, resulting a sudden, aggressive response. They may be triggered by something as subtle as someone’s cologne or a certain tone of voice. Those who have flashbacks are encouraged to ground themselves through the five senses – naming five things they can see can be a calming distraction.
. Avoiding People, Places and Things Related to the Event
Any reminder of a traumatic event can catalyze a flashbac That’s why many trauma sufferers become reclusive, avoiding people, places and things related to what happened. While this may make sense on paper, this behavior can actually be problematic. “Just trying not to think about it” is a coping mechanism that can actually worsen one’s symptoms over time.
. Casting Blame
Self-blame is especially common after a traumatic event. People with PTSD may blame themselves for what happened, especially if it resulted in the injury or death of a loved one. However, they may also assign blame to others who were associated with what happened. For example, after a boating accident, the traumatized person may point the finger at the driver of the boat. They might also assign blame themselves for not calling out or warning the driver in time.
. Difficulty Feeling Positive Emotions
Anger, sadness and guilt are the emotions primarily associated with PTSD. However, this condition also dampens a person’s ability to regulate positive emotions. Researchers have found that victims of domestic violence struggle to engage in goal-directed actions, control impulsive behaviors and accept their positive emotions while in a good mood.
. Exaggerated Startle Response
A key aspect of hypervigilance is an exaggerated startle response. One of the  symptoms of PTSD is caused by the constant feeling of being “on guard.” A  noise may cause a victim of trauma to become jumpy.
. Risky Behaviors
Finally, risky behaviors are especially common among those who have undergone trauma. Individuals with a high number of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), for example, are more likely to try substances at a younger age and to develop an addiction. Combat veterans fall into this category too – they have higher levels of addiction than the general population. Risky behaviors can include drug abuse, alcoholism, unsafe sex, high-adrenaline activities and behavioral addictions (gambling, shopping, etc.).

I realize that this is a lot to take in but I  so badly to be understood rather than judged so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this... anyway I also suffer from adhd which is actually only over diagnosed in boys. It's under diagnosed in boys. I'm not just some huge mean fuck up and if you take the time to get to know me youll realize that. And adhd is not what most people think of when they think adhd. I have the inattentive presentation like most girls with it and here's a list of symptoms of that and then we can get to the fun stuff (I do love psychology though so if ever you wanna discuss the topic I'm so down)

Inattentive ADHD Symptom 1: Careless Mistakes
A child with inattentive ADHD may rush through a quiz, missing questions he knows the answers to or skipping whole sections in his haste. An adult may fail to carefully proofread a document or email at work, drawing unwanted attention and embarrassment. If you tell yourself to slow down and  attention, but find it mentally painful and physically uncomfortable to do so, this may be a sign of inattentive ADHD. Your brain is aching to jump to the next thing, and ultimately you just have to give in.
An adult with ADHD has trouble at work
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Inattentive ADHD Symptom 2: Short Attention Span
Unfinished classwork, half-done art projects, and incomplete reading assignments are all hallmark signs of attention problems in students. Adults with inattentive ADHD despise boring work meetings  times more than their colleagues, and need to be chewing gum, sipping coffee, or even standing during meetings in order to sustain their attention throughout. If you are consistently frustrated by your inability to make it through long documents, stay focused during meetings, and see projects through to completion, that could be a sign.

Students with inattentive ADHD typically get about half the instructions relayed to them verbally — if that. Their notebooks are filled with more doodles than notes, and they may need to record and listen back to lectures several times to absorb all of the information. Adults don’t do well at cocktail parties. They interrupt others’ stories with their own anecdotes, never remember names, and zone out about halfway through every conversation. If you’re constantly being asked, “Weren’t you listening?” or "Why am I wasting my breath?" that could be a sign of inattentive ADHD.
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Inattentive ADHD Symptom 3: Poor Listening Skills
Students with inattentive ADHD typically get about half the instructions relayed to them verbally — if that. Their notebooks are filled with more doodles than notes, and they may need to record and listen back to lectures several times to absorb all of the information. Adults don’t do well at cocktail parties. They interrupt others’ stories with their own anecdotes, never remember names, and zone out about halfway through every conversation. If you’re constantly being asked, “Weren’t you listening?” or "Why am I wasting my breath?" that could be a sign of inattentive ADHD.

For children and adults alike, inattentive ADHD can manifest as a million  projects — started but never finished — laying around the house in states of disarray. The vegetable garden that got planted but never watered. The new organization system that was assem**** but never used. The abandoned sheet music for the piano lessons started and then ditched after a few tough months. If you love to plan and start projects but get sidetracked and leave a trail of unfulfilled promises in your wake, that could be a sign of inattentive ADHD.
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Inattentive ADHD Symptom 4: No Follow-Through
For children and adults alike, inattentive ADHD can manifest as a million projects lying around the house in states of completion — the vegetable garden that got planted but never watered; the new organization system that was assem**** but never used; the abandoned sheet music for the piano lessons started and then ditched after a few tough months. If you love to plan and start projects but get sidetracked and leave a trail of unfulfilled promises in your wake, that could be a sign of inattentive ADHD.

[Take This Self-Test: Could Your Child Have Inattentive ADHD?]

Lost your phone again? Your keys? That report that’s due tomorrow? Since we’re often thinking about something else when we’re putting down important things, inattentive adults are prone to the worst of ADHD’s hallmark disorganizational symptoms. Our homes, cars, and workspaces often look like a tornado just hit them — which can fill inattentive adults with a crippling amount of shame when they compare them to others'.
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Inattentive ADHD Symptom 5: Disorganization
Lost your phone again? Your keys? That report that’s due tomorrow? Since we’re often thinking about something else when we’re putting down important things, inattentive adults are prone to the worst of ADHD’s hallmark disorganizational symptoms. Our homes, cars, and work spaces often look like a tornado just hit them — which can fill inattentive adults with a crippling amount of shame.

“He could  attention if he tried.” “She’s just not dedicated — that’s why she misses so many deadlines.” Unfortunately, inattentive symptoms sometimes make us look lazy or uncaring, especially if the ADHD is undiagnosed or hasn’t been disclosed. Without treatment, we’re prone to losing jobs and friends — or even developing a hard and bitter persona as a defense mechanism. If everyone’s pinned you as lazy your whole life, it’s easy to start to see yourself that way, too.
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Inattentive ADHD Symptom 6: “Laziness” or “Apathy”
“He could  attention if he tried.” “She’s just not dedicated — that’s why she misses so many deadlines.” Unfortunately, inattentive symptoms sometimes make us look lazy or uncaring, especially if the ADHD is undiagnosed or hasn’t been disclosed. Without treatment, we’re prone to losing jobs and friends — or even developing a hard and bitter persona as a defense mechanism. If everyone’s pinned you as lazy your whole life, it’s easy to start to see yourself that way, too.

Everyone misplaces their car keys or cell phone from time to time. People with inattentive ADHD trade stories about finding their glasses in the freezer, and the frozen peas in their purse. They tend to misplace the essential things they need for living — keys, wallet, backpack, sports equipment — on a daily basis. If you have found that you need a “launch pad” near the door to ensure you don’t forget your cell phone, and couldn’t live without the locator device attached to your key ring, that could be a sign.
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Inattentive ADHD Symptom 7: Bermuda Triangle Syndrome
Everyone misplaces their car keys or phone from time to time. People with inattentive ADHD trade stories about finding their glasses in the freezer and the frozen peas in their purse. They tend to misplace the essential things they need for living — keys, wallet, backpack, sports equipment — on a daily basis. If you have found that you need a “launch pad” near the door to ensure you don’t forget your phone, and couldn’t live without the locator device attached to your key ring, that could be a sign.

Inattentive ADHD adults are dreamers, doodling on their notes during a big meeting or studying a fly on the wall while their spouses are asking about bills. Often nicknamed “space cadets” or written off as flaky, many people misinterpret inattentive ADHDer’s lack of focus as lack of interest — and can get frustrated by their inability to  attention, especially when it’s important that they do so.
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Inattentive ADHD Symptom 8: Distractibility
Inattentive adults are dreamers, doodling on their notes during a big meeting or studying a fly on the wall while their spouses are asking about bills. Often nicknamed “space cadets” or written off as flaky, many people misinterpret their lack of focus as lack of interest — and can get frustrated by their inability to  attention, especially when it’s important that they do so.

How many times have you missed a scheduled doctor or dentist appointment in the last year? Inadvertently stood up friends for lunch? Joined a conference call 20 minutes late because you forgot all about it? These are all common occurrences for adults with inattentive ADHD, who struggle to  bills on time, return friends’ messages, and send out birthday cards on time. This may be perceived as rudeness or laziness, but this behavior is rarely done on purpose.
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Inattentive ADHD Symptom 9: Forgetfulness
How many times have you missed a doctor or dentist appointment in the last year? Inadvertently stood up friends for lunch? Joined a conference call 20 minutes late? These are all common occurrences for adults with inattentive ADHD, who struggle to  bills, return friends’ messages, and send out birthday cards on time. This may be perceived as rudeness or laziness, but this behavior is rarely done on purpose.

Doctor diagnosing woman with ADHD
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Getting Treatment for Inattentive ADHD
Since inattentive ADHD is often missed, it can languish for years without treatment. But treatment is critical, no matter the stage of life. Medication can be a lifesaver for some, tackling underlying attention issues while you work on coping strategies. For individuals who can’t — or choose not to — take ADHD medications, there are other treatment options available.

A coach helps her client manage ADHD in the workplace
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Coaching for Inattentive ADHD
Coaching that targets better organization and memory is particularly helpful for adults with inattentive ADHD. Depending on her expertise, an ADHD coach can help with everything from financial planning to social skills — two common problem areas. Coaches can be expensive, and they’re not for everyone. In the long run, however, it’s important to consider how much a coach can save you in late fees, spoiled food, and other hidden costs of living with inattentive ADHD.

Becca Colao, an inattentive adult, recommends these strategies for living better with ADHD: - Set a timer to get yourself going on a boring tas - Put on high-energy music to rev yourself up before a long meeting, difficult chore, or anything else that tends to let your mind wander. - Hire a friend to check in on you periodically during a big project. If you’re off task, they can nudge you back to wor - Change up the view. When you find yourself getting distracted, move to a different location — outside, or maybe a coffee shop down the bloc Moving locations can “reset” your brain when you get bored.
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Tricks Just for Living with Inattentive ADHD
Becca Colao, an inattentive adult, recommends these strategies for living better with ADHD:

Set a timer to get yourself going on a boring tas
Put on high-energy music to rev yourself up before a long meeting, difficult chore, or anything else that tends to let your mind wander.
Hire a friend to check in on you periodically during a big project. If you’re off task, they can nudge you back to wor
Change up the view. When you find yourself getting distracted, move to a different location — outside, or maybe a coffee shop down the block — to “reset” your brain.
Inattentive ADHDers don’t always have a name for what they’re dealing with — and face far too many snide remarks about being “lazy,” “flaky,” or even “stupid.” Because of this, inattentive types often struggle with low self-esteem. Even after diagnosis, lingering doubt remains. It’s important for you to face these feelings head-on and get help, whether it’s from a therapist, your spouse, or a close friend. ADHD alone doesn’t make you lazy or flaky, and with proper treatment and self-acceptance, you can learn to recognize your strengths and accomplishments.
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Overcoming Self-Doubt with Inattentive ADHD
Those with inattentive ADHD don’t always have a name for what they’re dealing with — and face far too many snide remarks about being “lazy,” “flaky,” or even “stupid.” Because of this, inattentive types often struggle with low self-esteem. Even after diagnosis, lingering doubt remains. It’s important for you to face these feelings head-on and get help, whether it’s from a therapist, your spouse, or a close friend.

I am saving for a car which is a serious security thing for me since I was unable to leave. I feel so trapped without one that I cant even put it into words. Once I get one I'm planning on getting another job, and meeting people and just living life to the very fullest I can and truly appreciating it in a way that was never possible before... Till then I'm stuck at home. I like to learn new things. Practice my hula hooping, and vape tricks and setting fires and I love learning especially about psychology and how our brains work so maybe I can make mine just a  less broken. I'm gonna make it though. Things are falling into place but I cant help but feel like my life is slipping away before my very eyes while I'm just stuck here waiting to start living it again. I wish it didn't take so long to build a life from nothing but really its amazing if you can do it at all. What else can we make from nothing except a life.

I guess my philosophy on life and the world today would have to be the one I came up with most recently, That being

"The only difference between a victim and a survivor is the direction you're facing. Keep moving forward. Never look bac"

This is not my old life. It's a new one and I have got to figure out how to detach from my old life so I can reattach to my new one cuz things will never be how they were. I will never be how I was. If I compare my life now to my life pre-trauma I will always be unhappy. If I compare my life now to my life at the beginning of my recovery I have a chance at happiness

sorry if this bio was way less sexy than you may have expected. I am authentic. I'm  for something to fill a void. Hopefully this can be that something. It's worth a try anyway. If I never show anyone all of me, even the parts i'm ashamed of then I never give anyone a chance to love and accept me for everything that I am and I need that now more than ever. I can't not try. XOxo

When it comes to the types of shows I'll do that possibilities are endless. When it comes to the types of shows I get a  outta doing those include foot shows, guys who like being ignored, cock rate, advice, story telling, foot fetish shows strip teases, I've got some pretty fun toys I love to play with for the right guys, I love love love smoking and vaping shows of many kinds, playing with whipped cream, paints, getting high, and literally any sort of new fun or exciting experience that doesn't involve some form of abuse. I am not a sub so dont ask for that. It doesn't hurt that I've gained no joke 50 lbs over the past year (i was starved half to death it wasn't cute) and even though I'm a  self conscious (and a lot in need of some cloths that i can squeeze into) about gaining so much weight in such a short amount of time, I actually wear it very well. I have an amazing hourglass figure now. Curves for days and in all the right places. I'm lucky for that. I am actually amazingly beautiful when I am happy... It's a lot... that's all... It's just a lot. But if anyone out there has a hero complex or even just a thing for unicorns then get my attention. Show me youre different and not some sort of scam. I dont  to be so mistrusting and I need your love in a way the other girls on here probably don't. If you  to make a big difference in someones life then you cam to the right place because the potential to matter is here and I need someone to matter. Please just understand me. Please just don't let anything else bad happen to me. If you have a need to be needed. I have a need for you.

Ive lived such a crazy and interesting life full of so much adventure aside from just the traumatic parts. I'd love to tell you more about them too. Like, I went to catholic school 1st through th grade. I used to date only professional musicians and go on tour with them (groupies don't fight with the band. I was not a groupie). I've been to 27 hippie music festivals, raised 2 foster kids. I lived off the grid for a year, like really off the grid on some land owned by a Freemason in the Ozarks. It was wild. I learned to drive a tractor, build fires, pressurize a well, install solar panals, and really soooo much more. My dad was deployed for most of my childhood but he did make it possible for me to fly a plane, drive a boat, and a motorcycle all before I ever drove a car. It's been a dream of mine to go on a hot air balloon ride ever since the first grade though, and not with the rope but for real. I love heights so so far my favorite mode of transportation has been the helicopter... What a rush... I like bad music... but I like good music too. I dont see anything wrong with it so long as I can tell the difference and recognize art when I see it. Biggest difference on that one is art will almost always inspire emotion. The stronger the emotion the better the art... in my opinion anyway. Please understand me. Help me to find myself again after trauma. Be generous, be kind, but most of all be authentic. I  to make you happy too. I honest to god do. I just dont  to feel taken advantage of while I do it. I've had enough of that to last 3 lifetimes. Show me something different. So what do ya say? Who wants to ride a unicorn?

IRL I've only ever been with one person at a time. I might be a  self conscious for anything more but fr I'll try anything twice and I fantasize about being DP-ed

As far as positions in the bedroom... I prefer that they be... well not necessairly in the bedroom. I like new and exciting experiences. This carries over to my sex life. If the kitchen is clean that's probably my favorite place to have sex at home but I've been known to find hidden  slightly more public spots to fool around before. Too much of a risk of getting caught and it could be difficult for me to actually finish but did you know... did you know that for men the most pleasurable moment of sex is orgasm. For woment the most pleasurable moment is actually first penetration... Fact. They did brain scans and that's how women are capable of not being so upset if they don't get to finish and men cant really seem to figure out how it can be good sex if you dont finish... now dont take that as an ok to not try. Just might take a  bit of the pressure off, ya know, but yeah I've been known to have sex in a hammock in the treetops or outside, or in a changing room (id at least like to try that one). Oh yeah and I have a bit of a  fetish but ya gotta earn that title. You cant just call yourself  and expect it to get me there. A  is a nurturing but dominant male who always puts his  girls needs first. If that doesnt describe your relationship to me then you ARE NOT my . Got an open position though if anyone wants to give it a go.

Everyone has a love language. There are 5. Mine is gifting. Cant help it. That doesnt mean its the most important thing to me, but that's just how I understand and communicate love. Everyone has a love language. If you know what yours is I'd be interested to hear about it. It's always interesting to try on new ways of thinking and see what they're like or at the very least try to comprehend them. It's had to understand a way of thinking that you've never personally experienced but it's also interesting and empowering as hell.

The sexiest thing a man can say is "Don't worry baby i got it"
The sexiest thing a man can do is what he says he'll do and when he says he'll do it.

When a man is only as good as his word, you choose your worth.

Apologies, liars, people who waste my time, when people call me "BB". When people say "hru", and of course ugly people ha. Hows that for honesty.

Piercings, Tattoos, Shaved

Foot, High Heels, Rubber, Lace, Leather, Masturbation, Oral Fixation, Paddling/Spanking, Toys, Vibrators, Voyeurism, Uniform